Chapter 12 by Claremonty (Signed) - 04 Jan 2018 - 21:09 starstarstarstarstar
Great action! I could really see all those moves. I hope you will be taking us into Mireya's Civil War Spain experiences...! Fascinating (and terrifying) period.

Please keep this going! It's such an immersive experience reading your stuff.

vb,

M/C


Chapter 12 by Danomaly1983 (Signed) - 02 Jan 2018 - 06:50 starstarstarstarhalf-star

Good chapter, mate :)

A long-awaited return to Kat. It amused me that she during the fight with Mireya was more upset over having her dress torn than sustaining physical damage. The fact that Mireya hadn't changed in seventy years is very telling regarding the life-span of sempiterni. 



Author's Response: Thanks for the review, mate. Long overdue chapter I know. I need to get back on top of things. It's a struggle.


Chapter 11 by Danomaly1983 (Signed) - 14 May 2017 - 04:05 starstarstarstarstar
Great chapter, mate. So that's where Kat comes from. Who would have thought.

Author's Response: Yup. Who'd have thought. Thanks. :)


Chapter 10 by Danomaly1983 (Signed) - 13 May 2017 - 04:11 starstarstarstarhalf-star

Good chapter, mate, what with Dee's conversation with her dad, and Kat encountering an enemy from the war. And of course it involves the number one enemy of all time - the Nazis. Even a bigger surprise for Kat that her enemy seems to be of her own ilk. Almost impossible to kill.



Author's Response: Thanks very much for reading and reviewing. :)


Chapter 11 by Claremonty (Signed) - 07 May 2017 - 22:37 starstarstarstarstar
What a fascinating story! Very cinematic the way you tell it. I really felt I could see everything in detail. I really enjoyed this description of Jacob:

"A tall earthy man with broad shoulders and strong arms and a hard, weathered face but whose smile shone with such brilliant kindness."

I am so curious about 'Him.' Who is this guy? Can't wait to find out! Lots of fun to see Tiri again. I am still really worried about her...

Well, I wish there was another chapter! So please give us more soon!

vb,

M/C

Author's Response: Thank you kindly. :) Glad you liked my description of Jacob. He is an extremely important figure in Kat's history and in what makes her her. And the identity of 'Him' will eventually be revealed. Thanks again.


Chapter 10 by Claremonty (Signed) - 07 May 2017 - 22:17 starstarstarstarstar
This is so compelling. And so much fun to read. Deeds and 'Da' in County Clare! Wonderful. The way you develop their relationship by giving us images, tactile descriptions is great. This is terrific:

"Deeds heard a rustle of something followed by a low chuff. Had to be old Rory, the now virtually decrepit black and tan Harrier dog for certain lazing on the couch next to her dad, attempting to move his old bones into a more comfortable position."

Kat is truly a unique semp I feel. The others have problems remaining connected to a society that becomes year after year less and less familiar, but Kat is DIFFERENT. And that difference is so enjoyable. Love this:

"And they had seldom amounted to anything of consequence anyway. Truth told she had become complacent, docile even (ugh, what a thought) in this modern world with all its many glittering distractions."

It's quite skillful how this aspect that keeps her healthy mentally, seems to blind her, or at least dim her ability to recognize old dangers lurking in the shadows...

Great chapter, Drav!

vb,

M/C

Author's Response: Many thanks for that. Heh. Yeah, Kat is different alright. I think she is often willfully blind to such issues and dangers. She wants 100% to be the modern and world-wise fashionista Katriana Devoe. But she isn't. At heart she is still that same woman from eighteenth century Massachusetts who is still dealing with everything that happened to her back then. And it comes out in how she relates to others, especially those she dares get emotionally close with.


Chapter 9 by Claremonty (Signed) - 29 Jan 2017 - 22:19 starstarstarstarstar
Hiya!

Gosh, it took me awhile, but I finally found time to check out this fabulous new chapter! Thank you so much for continuing this story. Kat is wonderfully self-aware, and almost ‘down-to-earth’ for a supernatural character. She doesn’t take herself too seriously which enables her to genuinely relate to the regular mortals around her. This is obviously why she has been able to maintain her cover in the human world (and how she keeps her sanity).

I really liked the ways that this ‘regular girl’ aspect of Kat’s character was developed in this chapter. Her guilt about her behavior towards Deeds and her understanding of Deeds’ feelings really brought up the drama and intensified the budding romance between Kat and Will. Also, Kat’s appreciation and attraction to Will seems unique for a sempiternus. Basically, Kat really seems human in her interactions with humans, though she knows she can’t escape her past, and the hidden supernatural elements all around her which her human companions remain ignorant of.

The ending was really fun and suspenseful! Can’t wait to find out what Mireya has to say!

Here are some quick notes:

Really like the combination of visual and aural description here:
“And so Kat held back and did nothing. Nothing except watch Deeds hurry away from her, alone, shoulders hunched against the non-cold, those barely managed heels of hers striking rapidly the paving stones with angry clack, clack, clacks.”

Love how Kat’s emotions change during his quick delve into Will’s mind:
“Oh how wonderful his mind was - complex, passionate, creative, nimble. And for a nano second she feared her 'trick' would fail on him and that he would shut her out, repel her.”

This is great!:
“She took a quick sniff of the air as well. What she got back made her blanch: the sharp chemical sting of cleaning product mixed with the flowery perfume of performance, all edged by the sour odours of human exertion. Ugh!”
Smelly ballerinas!

Some typos?:
“*Soony* though a movement at the far end of the room grabbed her full attention. It was a figure *��*”

Fun cliffy endng!:
““Hello Kat!” Said the crushingly familiar voice.” Mireya!

Please write more!

vb,

M/C

Author's Response: As always many thanks for the review and for the kind words. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter.


Chapter 9 by Danomaly1983 (Signed) - 07 Jan 2017 - 23:13 starstarstarstarstar
Great chapter, mate. I especially liked the part with Will and Kat splitting ways, and how sad Kat was to have to abandon Will. She clearly wanted him as much as he wanted her, but tonight more important things are at stake. Hopefully they'll meet again, after Kat has sorted out her "family stuff".

Author's Response: Thanks mate. Glad you liked. :)


Chapter 8 by Danomaly1983 (Signed) - 02 Aug 2015 - 01:51 starstarstarstarhalf-star
Great chapter, mate, all seen from Kat's point of view. The ballet serves as a fitting background with the dancers' otherworldly elegance and the soaring music from the orchestra, along with Kat's inner monologue of who and what she is. Much revealing character stuff. She needs to always have the upper hand, even with those closest and dearest to her. When one's entire character is based on domination, it's no wonder that she struggles with giving sincere apologies. And then the little piece of revelation at the end - an impossible encounter. Looking forward to reading the next chapter.

Author's Response: Thanks mate. I'm glad you enjoyed this revelatory bit of insight in to Kat's character. :)


Chapter 8 by Claremonty (Signed) - 28 Jul 2015 - 13:57 starstarstarstarstar
Drav,

This is such a wonderful and lovely chapter. I thoroughly enjoyed the whole thing. I feel like it’s a really character based chapter which is so great. I loved the changing dynamic between Kat and Deeds, the dialogue you wrote for them seems realistic, believable and is charmingly funny as well as poignant in places. This part was particularly good:

“‘Stop pretending,' Kat said without hesitation. Then with a knowing smirk, 'You're SO loving Giselle.’”

The journey into Kat’s past is fascinating! Can’t wait to learn more:

“The very same strength which more than three hundred years ago had allowed her to survive being kidnapped from her home, turned against her will in to a semi-crazed, blood hungry creature before being finally abandoned and left to her fate in the backwoods of 17th century colonial Massachusetts.”

Love how the plot is developing, branching out to new horizons. :)

Deeds’ reluctance to admit she liked the ballet works very well. It gives her character and her relationship with Kat a level of complexity and authenticity. They both feel like real people, with real histories, and hang-ups:

“'Fine. Yes. It’s pretty damn fecking great, okay? And not just the package that main dancer feller is packing. All the dancers are amazing. And the story is moving. God help me, I am being swept up by the romance of it all. Happy now?’”

Little confused here:

“She needed to keep her onside.”

Just not sure what you mean by ‘onside’. :)

The ending is great! Hope you update soon. Love it!

vb,

Claremonty

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the kind review. I'm glad you enjoyed this belated new chapter and the character stuff in it. I'm going to try and get back in to semi-regular updating (life permitting). To keep someneon onside is a term used over here which means to keep someone on your side, in your corner, supporting you. I think it might originate from soccer, which I know almost nothing about but words and terms get pulled in to common usage from all sorts of places.


Chapter 7 by Claremonty (Signed) - 15 Jan 2015 - 14:33 starstarstarstarstar
Oh this is so good! Love the whole thing. So much fun to watch Kat in action!

Really like how she sizes up her situation here:

“The conversation was followed by several muted thuds. Blows being struck? It certainly sounded like it. There then came a low groan and some pained mumbling from a third person in what was most likely English.

Damn it! Hostage rescue it is then.“

Very cinematic the way you describe all the action in this chapter. Really well done. Lots of great humor too.

Love this!:
“It was a Beyonce track. The sentry was murdering a Beyonce track!”

Kat is such a wonderful character (as is Deeds and the others I’m getting to know). I’ve probably said that so many times it’s uncountable but I love spending time with the people you create. The ending is terrific, with Kat arriving looking amazing behind a sexy brunette on the motorcycle after surviving an explosion and saving an MI6 op. Awesome. :D

I hope you update soon! Can’t wait to find out what Kat and Deeds will face next. :)

vb,

Claremonty

Author's Response: Thanks, Claremonty. Most kind. I'm very happy you enjoy spending time with Kat, Deeds and co. Also that you like the humour even when it is wrapped up in what is a pretty grim situation (especially considering recent actual events). Much appreciated as always. Drav


Chapter 7 by Danomaly1983 (Signed) - 14 Jan 2015 - 01:32 starstarstarstarstar

Great chapter, mate :)

I especially enjoyed how Kat systematically took out one by one of the bombers which held the badly beaten up MI6 agent hostage, particularly the bomber who kept "murdering" Beyonce with his out-of-tune interpretation of her music. The scene with the bomber who was going to use his bomb belt on them also made an exciting read. 

Great one, Drav :D



Author's Response: Thanks very much. Glad you enjoyed.


Chapter 6 by Claremonty (Signed) - 15 Nov 2014 - 15:24 starstarstarstarstar
Draven:

I really like the way this chapter moves. It moves in and out of Kat's head, from the present to the past, from Will to John, from the party to the industrial zone… Such a fun ride as always! I have only one critique. This is too short! I want more!

So here are a few notes:

Really like this:
"Right then. Eighty minutes to get to the old industrial part of the city, locate and take out a terror cell rescuing any hostages in the process, before getting back to la Scala to meet Will and Deeds in time for curtain up at nine. Easy peasy.....if I were Wonder Woman and not a three hundred year old glammed up fashion photographer who's never been exactly great with time keeping!"

Like this too:
"These two men, as different as chalk and cheese, saw far more than just her beautiful face and her clever eye for theme, colour and composition."

Love the interaction between Kat and the pretty young Milanese woman:
"'Thanks so much, darling,' she said. 'And I promise I'll take good care of your baby. You can wait for me in that bar with your friends as I won't be very long.' A pause. 'Oh, and please-' She nodded at the shoes the girl was holding. 'Look after my babies too will you? They’re the Ducati of heels - a work of art.'"

Love the fabulous atmosphere and your descriptions of the Ducati and Milan at night. It's also great how Kat is just a tad ADD in this. She wants so much to get a chance to enjoy her life it seems. Even if all she has time for are little scraps – a microsecond of window shopping or a quick fantasy about what it might be like to have a relationship with Will or own a motorcycle again. ;)

Great fun!

Very best,

Claremonty

Author's Response: Thanks very much. Glad you liked. Sorry it was too short ;)


Chapter 6 by Danomaly1983 (Signed) - 15 Nov 2014 - 06:18 starstarstarstarhalf-star

Great chapter, mate :)

I like the scene where Kat uses her hypnotic powers to get a motorbike from a woman. Nice one.



Author's Response: Thanks mate :)


Chapter 5 by Danomaly1983 (Signed) - 13 Aug 2014 - 08:33 starstarstarstarstar

Great chapter, mate :D

Lots of fun interaction between the teeth-gritting men and women of the fashion industry. Haute Couture, they say. More like "haughty couture". What a bunch of status-obsessed jerks. Facade means more than anything in that charade. Deeds, a down-to-earth Irish girl, seems a little bit like a fish out of water on that party, what with her seeking refuge in the bar after having failed to get Lu's attention. I like how she becomes more or less sauntered after not being able to seduce the bartender, and how she gets the phone call from "Mr. Complicated" on Kat's phone, for then to hand it over to her while being manifestly drunk.

The conversation between Lu and Karl Halpner is a typical example of how much status means in the world of high fashion. Despite being brazenly insulted by Lu, Karl isn't allowed to "bite back" because he belongs to a lower caste in the career ladder. I can't blame Deeds for briefly thinking that she doesn't belong in that world. Maybe she doesn't either. 

Kat's meeting with Will was intriguing, especially her surmising that he might belong to her kind. Interesting to see where the two of them will go. 



Author's Response: Thanks mate. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter and my affectionate/cynical take on the fashion set. I thought it would be interesting to set at least part of my Shadow World story against its weird, shallow, back-stabby, yet creative and oft attractive background. Yeah, Deeds is our way in, our 'normal' eyes on the scene, and she is indeed questioning if she wants to be part of it any longer. But despite how much Kat can aggravate her she is still very fond of her not-really-so-shallow boss. And maybe Kat is on her own journey of self discovery too, finding that she has more to offer than just making pretty pictures (and reluctantly taking on the occasional mission for the Covenant). We'll see. Thanks again.


Chapter 5 by Claremonty (Signed) - 12 Aug 2014 - 23:59 starstarstarstarstar
Wow. This is just delightful. :)

It's so great to spend time with Kat and Deeds and the rest of your characters. You are so great at capturing the intricacies of social behavior. The flirtation between Kat and Will is lovely and exciting. So cool how Kat thinks it's magic at first and then realizes it's simply the magic of 'natural' attraction. Will is very cool. I hope he gets a chance to impress Kat again. That scene was a really great way to show how much Kat is forced to sacrifice (in terms of leading anything like a normal life) because of who/what she is and her ties to the Covenant.

Just a few notes:

Love this:
"That sound alone had caused many conversations to pause, many heads to turn her way, and then, when she was seen, many jaws to drop. Naturally tall at **5”10** Kat's long spiked heels took her over 6ft. And in the elegant black Valentino Garavani original dress she was almost wearing, a dress that showed off her long, subtly curved figure to perfection, she looked simply stunning. And what's more she knew it." There is one tiny typo though. It should be 5'(ft) 10"(inches) not 5"(inches)10 I think. ;)

Love this:
"Oh yes. This is exactly what I was after."

Love the competition between Kat and Karl.

Really like this description!:
"as if it had been pushed back from his forehead by means of hurried fingers rather than a steady brush or comb."

Terrific. Can't wait for more!

Very best.

Claremonty/mbw

Author's Response: Thank you for the lovely review and for pointing out the typo which I have now fixed. I'm glad you enjoyed the party and the social interactions going on. I thought it a good way to give some insight into Kat's world and her relationships with those around her especially with men and with those closest to her i.e. Deeds. Thanks again. Much appreciated as always. :)


Chapter 4 by Claremonty (Signed) - 04 Apr 2014 - 04:01 starstarstarstarstar
Okay, I know I have already said this, but I love this. It is so much fun and exciting and thrilling and everything you do so well. I think the chapters are getting better and better and this is the best one yet. I love the way you are developing Kat and Deeds' relationship – although Kat is most definitely guilty of some serious sexual harassment, she *is* a monster, but such a beautiful one ;) and as you show us in the 1941 flashback, she is equally an angel of justice.

I have a few notes:

like the way you explain Kat's physiology while getting deeper into her psyche, very cool, I mean, hot:
"And yet, her central nervous system still worked the same way. The signals of pain still got through."

Love the Bletchley Park ref.

really great this whole confrontation scene!:
"Mireya kept her eyes on Kat the whole time, hardly even moving as the bullet struck home; just a slight flinch is all." Wow. That's great.

really wonderful:
"Their paths continually crossed, sometimes clashed, forcing a little dance to get out of each others way." You say so much about their lives and you build up the sexual tension here so well so succinctly.

love this:
"'Oh yeah. That's a big fat ka ching!' Deeds declared loudly, a triumphant fist punching the air. 'Ring up another high dollar sale for Super Deeds. Who da woman?'"

Please write more. This is so good. :)

Very best.

Claremonty

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the great review. I'm stoked you love KIat and Deeds as I'm having lots of fun writing them. Yeah, Kat isn't much with the political correctness is she? She likes to niggle people, test them, see how far she can push them. She wouldn't last long working in a modern office environment that's for sure. Luckily Deeds is thick skinned and has the measure of her boss...well, kind of. She can deal. You can maybe see how the likes of Wynter mighjt want to avoid Kat though. Anyway, thanks again. Always hugely appreciated. :)


Chapter 4 by Danomaly1983 (Signed) - 01 Apr 2014 - 04:21 starstarstarstarstar

Excellent chapter, mate, from Kat's cathartic shower to her WWII flashback encounter with Mireya, as well as her mischevious prank on poor Deeds. The image of Kat running around naked whipping Deeds with a towel was hilarious and evocative. Made me grin :)

Some nice paragraphs: 

"She held Kat's cold-eyed glare as death's crimson rose opened its warm petals wider and wider across her chest, as her legs beneath her grew weak, as her vision blurred. She held on to the sight of Kat until the very last moment when the world finally fell away from her, leaving the ravenous beast called darkness to come and swallow her whole."

Now that is one description of someone encountering their own death. 

It's interesting that Kat over the years has developed a change in heart concerning the Mireya incident. In wartime circumstances certain rules apply that don't apply other places, and many soldiers have later questioned their actions against enemy combattants. The greater good versus a human life. It's an impossible decision that nobody should be forced to make. 



Author's Response: Thanks mate. Glad you liked. It's all about choices. Kat had her own priorities back then - loyalty to John and helping the fight against the Nazis being two, and she made her choices based upon those. But both of those priorities also allowed her to pursue her own personal agenda, an agenda which will become clearer as her story unfolds. Only a while after those events were over and done did she start questioning her actions and why she did what she did. And as for poor Deeds... Yup, she has to put up with a fair bit with her slightly crazy boss. But then she gets a lot out of it too and does have tons of fun. Thanks again.

Author's Response: Thanks mate. Glad you liked. It's all about choices. Kat had her own priorities back then - loyalty to John and helping the fight against the Nazis being two, and she made her choices based upon those. But both of those priorities also allowed her to pursue her own personal agenda, an agenda which will become clearer as her story unfolds. Only a while after those events were over and done did she start questioning her actions and why she did what she did. And as for poor Deeds... Yup, she has to put up with a fair bit with her slightly crazy boss. But then she gets a lot out of it too and does have tons of fun. Thanks again.


Chapter 3 by Claremonty (Signed) - 05 Mar 2014 - 17:13 starstarstarstarstar
Great stuff in this chapter. I love the rapport between Kat and Deeds. It's just so much fun and authentic sounding. I only found one tiny typo:

"But even that relationship had its downsides. It's complications." 'Its complications' I believe. :)

I was mesmerized by Kat's recollections (as vague as they were) of Mireya. Thought this section was very good:

"Kat caught just the briefest glimpse of the figure, who had turned its head towards her just as the Mercedes passed by. But that briefest glimpse had been enough.

Enough to make Kat's insides go suddenly ice cold."

Well I've totally fallen for your characters. I can't wait to spend more time with them and find out what happens next!

Very best!

Claremonty

Author's Response: Thanks Claremonty. Oops! Typo now fixed. Glad you are enjoying the rapport/relationship between Kat and Deeds. This story will go to some pretty dark places but I also want there to be a sense of fun too. Hopefully that comes through. Thanks again.


Chapter 3 by Danomaly1983 (Signed) - 03 Mar 2014 - 07:49 starstarstarstarstar

I enjoyed reading about the taxi ride and Kat and Deeds' discussion about encounters with the same sex. I also enjoyed Deeds' comment about Kat preferring stupid lovers as opposed to intelligent ones, like the Norwegian physicist (hehe, Norwegian...:) ). Deeds' comment at the end struck a chord in Kat, but she saved it off by making a joke about the Queen of bloodlust and vanity, the nefarious Elizabeth Bathory:

"'You always do that.'

'Do what?'

'You make statements or observations as if you're a thousand years old.'

Kat looked horror struck. 'A thousand?' she cried. Eyes twinkling with new humour she leaned in so very close to Deeds and whispered, 'Actually I'm barely three hundred. And just like dear old Elizabeth Bathory I bathe in the blood of young virgins to keep myself forever youthful. That's what I won't divulge to Maurio. My horrifying secret to staying eternally young and lovely.'"

Great chapter, though I'm starting to wonder if the taxi driver might be something else than just a taxi driver, at least in relevance to the plot. 



Author's Response: Heh. Thought you might get a kick out of the Norwegian reference ;) Thanks for the kind review, mate. Glad you liked. This chapter is mostly about getting an insight in to Kat's way of thinking and how she perceives others, especially Deeds. It's about where she is at emotionally. This will all come to a head later in the story as decisions and actions from her past will come back to bite her...maybe literally. It was also about just having a bit of fun with the pair, seeing how they chat and get along so well together. Exactly what Kat doesn't want to lose. As for the driver... Well, that would be telling. Thanks again.


Chapter 2 by Danomaly1983 (Signed) - 21 Feb 2014 - 08:50 starstarstarstarhalf-star

Fun chapter, with "Kitty-Kat", Aneta and Deeds the Irish personal assistant. The encounter with Maurio was entertaining to read. Kat's speech to Aneta was great, what with women still facing the same issues and problems in work that they've always done. Kat's ability is intriguing as well. Might come in very handy when one has to persuade models into doing their job.

Great one, mate :) 



Author's Response: Thanks mate. Glad u liked :)


Chapter 2 by Claremonty (Signed) - 19 Feb 2014 - 20:31 starstarstarstarstar
I love how Katriana notices every detail about a person, especially what they are wearing. She is a fascinating character. Deeds is great too. I feel I know her even though you've so far only given us a glimpse. Your take on the fashion world is lots of fun, very entertaining.

Also, the way you are interweaving themes from fairytales and classical ballet with the fantasy of fashion photography is very cool and really extends the thematic elements of the story. I am also really liking the ways these themes work so well with the 'Shadow World' you've established through your previous stories.

So, when are you going to update? Can't wait!

Very best.

Claremonty

Author's Response: Thanks Claremonty. Glad you enjoyed this chapter. I hope to update soon however that darn life stuff keeps getting in the way. But hopefully it won't be too long before chapter 3 is up. All the best, Drav.


Chapter 1 by Claremonty (Signed) - 16 Oct 2013 - 03:28 starstarstarstarstar
Draven:

I love this! Katriana Devoe is so cool. Her character, the way you describe her and the things she says, it all makes so much sense to me, as fantastic as she is.

From the opening image "Beauty and the battered Beast clinging together inside this dark, dank, crumbling carcass of a building." to Katriana's last line, the action is thrilling.

Here are some favorite parts:

"'This dress is a Valentino Garavani original,' she continued, still annoyed. 'It's one of the very last dresses he designed before he retired. And I won’t have it ruined by some idiot with high explosives!'"

"The woman, still smiling, eyes still shining, could see that the young man's breathing had slowed right down. It had become far steadier too."

I have one complaint. Where's the next chapter?!

Please write more!

Very best.

Claremonty

Author's Response: Thanks Claremonty. Glad you enjoyed Kat. I'll try to have Chapter 2 up soon.


Chapter 1 by Danomaly1983 (Signed) - 14 Oct 2013 - 08:38 starstarstarstarhalf-star

A promising beginning to a new great story from the well-known Shadow World :) The encounter with the suicide bomber was exciting to read, and for a moment it seemed that everything was going to be alright.

A great paragraph:
"A truly odd looking pair they made: Beauty and the battered Beast clinging together inside this dark, dank, crumbling carcass of a building."

 



Author's Response: Thanks mate :)


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