Reviews For My Albatross
Chapter 1 by jamestkirkesq (Signed) - 05 Nov 2008 - 15:43 starstarstarstarhalf-star

“Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, Carlton walks into O'Brien's.” :wink:

Seriously tho, a nicely crafted little story.

The dialogue is sharp with exellent descriptions/dialogue tags. I found myself drawn in right from the start.

Just one thing that distracted me slightly. I noticed the mixing of tenses here and there in the story:

[Shawn groaned and rolled away from the shrill ring that pierced his pleasant dreams.]

[Carlton scoffs, earning himself a glare from the younger man, but he ignores it.]

That minor point aside, this is very, very good, very well written. Nicely done, FF. :-))



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